Do I need to Change OR Do I need to let go?
How do I know the difference?
I can feel something inside, its hard to explain, but its just something inside of me, that feels ‘alive’, but at the same time, something is also dying.
You don’t have to know what change is, or letting go, to know how to do or if you are experiencing this, but instead you observe whatever happens, without attachment. This is hard to practice, being the observer and the doer, but if you keep practicing, what was once hard, becomes easier.
We are always changing; changing your mind about what you want for breakfast or lunch, changing your mind about how you felt about a person, even changing your taste in clothes or shoes; we are always changing. Now, this is a materialistic synopsis, but to drop to an emotional level; how often do you spend your day laughing, crying, smiling, content, anxious, depressed, happy, or even angry? And have you stayed that way forever? No, you changed, why because either the reason for the emotion rising changed, or your view around this changed, or a discussion came up and changed the emotion, or whatever it was, you changed. And you really didn’t have to think that hard about how to change that emotion, when you look back at the memory of it, so why is this emotion so hard to change?
FEAR… whether we are aware of it or not, a lot of us live in fear. Fear created externally, and we digested and disguised it to be a fear inside of us. “I can’t change that about myself because I will lose [insert what it is you think you’ll lose]”, “I can’t be the person I like to be because it upsets [insert who you think it will upset]”, “I feel so alone when I do the things I really enjoy, and I want the people I love to enjoy it with me, but they don’t, and to make it easier for them, I just stick to the status quo”. When did we decide that our life was up to everyone else? When did we make the conscious and aware choice to allow others to create our life? And why are you still allowing it?
From the moment we are born, to the moment we “Awaken”, we are being conditioned by the perceptions of others. Our parents, our grandparents, our siblings, our friends, our teachers, everyone we meet in our lives, even complete strangers, shape our perceptions and beliefs. But the biggest influence, if you are subject to it or have been for most of your life, is the media. Now it is too common to turn on the TV and see; pain and suffering, advertising to create pain and suffering in one self (E.g. brand new cars and homes and clothes and gadgets that you MUST HAVE), as well as painting the subconscious, unrealistic “Happy Life” we are meant to adhere to. You must work a full time job to be successful….You must provide to society, as well as your own family plus be a good friend, plus a good husband or wife, and you must be a good dad or mum, and you must be a good worker, and you must make your own food for your family and you must support local or Australian business and you must pay your taxes, and you must, you must, you must…. But guess what… you are no longer in the bonds of “I must”… and instead you are now free to say “I am”.
Emptying the cup that was once filled by the fears (and some passions) of those around us and relevant to our upbringing, and now filling it with the grace of all our new beliefs, by observing the changes we see in ourselves, and observing them reflect back into our world.
So …. BREATHE….
And keep breathing, keep following the beautiful breath…
Is the tension softening? Is the tightness releasing?
And follow your Inhale, the always encouraging to go deep within, Inhale!
Can you feel where your holding on? Is it around your neck or throat, your chest or shoulders, your head or inside the head space, down your spine or around your navel?
BREATHE…. & OBSERVE….
Could you release the tension? Could you release the tightness? Are you still holding on, or can you feel that part of you dissolving, grounding, yielding with gravity as you mould as one with our Devine Mother, Our Earth Mother. Mould into her embrace, her support, her nurturing and nourishment, her encouragement to grow and her sustainability and passion for life. Allow yourself to lay in the calmness, the silence and still of her aura, and be supported by her bodies. And as all the pressures, the unexpected expectations, the coats and layers fall away, dissolve and disintegrate, you lay in your raw, naked and vulnerable place, in the embrace of our Earth Mother, allow your cup to fill with all the butterflies of your love, compassion and kindness and walk in the world your creating.
It can hurt, to see the ones you love and care for living in their fear, but you can’t hold back, you are a beacon. You are a guidance for those you love, to show them the light. They will follow, they will heed to your calls, just as you have heeded to the call. But if they don’t follow, you can’t hold onto that fear, you must realise from the shores, swim in the ocean and allow all that is meant to be attracted to you, come…. await for them to hear your beating drum.
But as you stand at the edge of your cliff, or holding on to your branch... have faith in yourself, let go of fear and see what happens.